SkidNews op-ed: SPA Chooses Silence Over Action

By Josh Keefe
Opinions Co-Editor

Strolling about campus in my usual crunch-time stupor, I was surprised to see posters depicting head shots of college-aged persons underneath the eye-grabbing "We Are Silenced everyday" slogan. At first I thought this was some sort of pro-activist call to get students involved in the political process. Upon closer examination, I realized the poster was advertising a "day of silence" in honor of the silencing that gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgendered people experience everyday. To protest the silence society has forced on them, the Skidmore Pride Alliance is going to force themselves even further into that state? I get the strategy; it's a common one in political activism these days: exaggerate the injustice instead of fighting against it.

Now, let me just say that I fully agree that gays and people with alternative sexual orientations are silenced by societal norms, both overtly and subtly, especially outside of the safe haven of liberal arts colleges. As a white hetero male, I can't imagine what it must be like to live in a society where idiotic religious figures see you as some sort of criminal for loving as you see fit. (Although, as the oldest sibling, I do know what its like to be blamed for everything.) I'm not picking on the Skidmore Pride Alliance for their day of silence. One, it's a national event, and two, I think it's a good way to raise awareness, so long as there aren't bigger issues to deal with. But there are bigger issues; specifically one bigger issue that the GLBTQ Alliance is shying away from, and that is the documented discrimination that occurred downtown a few weekends ago. I couldn't imagine a better opportunity for the GLBTQ to speak up.

The allegations were made in a March 31 Skidnews article by Alex Alsup. The events described in the article were shocking, especially since they occurred in a Northeast college town and not in a "left-wing liberal out of touch with American values" type of way, but a "what the hell I thought this was America" type of way: a bouncer at Club Caroline, a downtown bar, refused to admit a patron on the basis of his sexual orientation alone. Not only that, but when the student in question called the Saratoga PD in hopes of using the law to restore some kind of sanity to the situation, the police promptly arrested him, the one who called the cops, on bogus "disturbing the peace" charges and harassed him over the course of the night he spent in jail. The whole thing read like some gross anachronism from the sixties. The allegations are outrageous, disgusting, and, if found to be true, should result in somebody being fired. (According to the chief of police, the department has already opened an internal investigation.) At the very least, gay groups on campus should have seized the opportunity to defend their core values. Instead, they decided to be silent.

The difference between the student activism of the sixties and the student activism of today is not so much a matter of numbers as it is a matter of risk. Nobody risks anything in today's protests. Protestors at the 2004 Democratic and Republican National Conventions agreed to stand in "free speech zones," caged off areas far away from the event they were protesting. Political expression is hard to take seriously if no one is willing to break the laws that they are opposing.

All this being said, I'm not asking anyone to go out and get arrested or take over the president's office. We are full-time students, not revolutionaries. But it's hard to imagine an issue more incendiary to a liberal college campus then [sic] the arrest of one of its students for the crime of being gay. When word of what happened to Manny DeJesus '06 reached the leaders of the gay groups on campus there should have been plans for a protest of the bar in question - which hires Neanderthal bouncers who say things like "no faggots allowed" - and outside of the police station - which hired someone who mocked a Latino "suspect" in their custody with infantile chants of "andale, andale, hombre." At the very least a call should have been placed to the local media outlets, (as a former reporter for a small town newspaper, let me tell you, this would've been front page stuff) to let the taxpayers know what kind of law enforcement their dollars are paying for. It wouldn't have taken much, just a phone call to the local newspaper, a national gay rights group, or the good old ACLU.

During the last five years, I have watched our government behave in ways that should have people marching in the streets. I have told myself that virtually no resistance has arisen because people weren't affected by these policies like the draft affected students during the Vietnam War. But here we have something that affects every gay person on this campus and still nothing at all is done by anybody. Maybe it's not apathy, it's not the situation, maybe it's just fear. The generation before us, because they were so very different from their parents and the establishment, had no problem with risk, because the system they opposed wasn't their system. But we, as much as we pretend not to be, are invested in the current system as much as our parents. So we are afraid to make waves, and afraid to stand up for ourselves if it requires actual confrontation. Instead, we stay silent, and tell ourselves it makes a difference.

-----

What do I have to say about this? First, he's right. We should have done something. Media attention would have been great. Boycotting might have been a good idea. Perhaps a letter-writing campaign . . .

What pisses me off about this point is that Skidnews knew long before, say, I did about Manny's arrest. Why didn't these student reporters call other newspapers? Didn't they care? Or are they not supposed to care, because they're not queer? The other thing that pisses me off about it is that they covered this story in their April Fool's Day edition of Skidnews. There were serious and joke articles in that issue and it was difficult to tell which was which. I looked up the arrest in the Saratogian to make sure it was real, and didn't see it. I guess I can go check again. I understand at this point that it was not a joke article, but that wasn't clear at the time.

Also, Josh Keefe clearly knows very little about "political activism these days." (He wants high-risk activism, eh? Has he missed the entire anti-globalization movement?!) I was actually at the RNC protests in 2004, and we marched through the streets. Where was he? Two of my friends were arrested at that same protest, during a kiss-in with Queerfist. Is that risky and radical enough for you, Josh Keefe?

2006 Skidmore Drag Show

Getting ready for this show was very stressful. Presidents Phred and Alex and some theater major I don't know really saved the day, plus volunteers like Morgan and possibly other people I didn't notice. This girl had borrowed the fuses out of the lights in Case! So they had to get more fuses! Ahh. I had so much crap to lug over to Case, and I spent most of my day working on the (ultimately boring and full of text) programs.





Performer Bios
in order of appearance ['cause otherwise I was gonna list students in the order that I like them best, which would be . . . difficult]

The Amazing Esmerelda* (Psychic to the Stars) was born in the little-known eastern European province of Lower Shitolia. The humble love child of an Italian sheep herder and a Jewish gypsy, she came to America seeking her fortune. After using her visions and other hallucinations to become a psychic advisor to the likes of Liza and Capote, she quickly found fame on the Catskills borscht belt and downtown Las Vegas circuits. Today, Esmerelda is in high demand with mid-grade bar mitzvahs and Shriner conventions nationwide. She is also the winter artist-in-residence at Ziggy’s Crab Shack and All-You-Can Eat
Buffet in Boca Raton, Florida. Her autobiography, “Buffet for One,” is due out next spring from Little Golden Cross Books, publishers of inspirational children stories for born-again Christians.

* We are contractually required to describe this bitch as “amazing."

Jezebel (Black Widow to the Stars) was born in a stagnant backwater port in the Commonwealth of East Virginia in a time somewhat before our own. Though raised with the pretense of every advantage, she gave it all up to pursue her true love—marriage. Her first husband, Elmer, died in a tragic hunting accident (in their living room) soon after she found out that his trust fund was empty. As part of her community service, Jezebel serves on the school board of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Academy, a Catholic reformatory for the performing arts, where she runs the theater program and serves as chief sub. Other inspirational details of Jezebel’s life can be discovered in her first autobiography, “So There I Was, Naked,” available
at fine backrooms everywhere.

Ez & Jez first met at the Miss Mount Airy Lodge Beauty Pageant in the Poconos. Jezebel was crowned the winner after Esmerelda was found flagrante delicto with one of the judge’s sons, despite Ez’s claim that she was simply engaged in her “talent competition.” Jez herself fell under suspicion later that evening when a freak accident caused by a cigarette butt dropped into a bottle of vodka resulted in the resort being burned to the ground. With few prospects, the two banded together and pledged to bring their unique brand of glamour and entertainment to adoring fans everywhere. They are pleased to receive your
adulation and support!

Manny aka Queen Bee
Manny, Class of 2006, aka the Queen Bee, did not submit a bio. So: Manny and the Queen Bee have been an inspiration for many Skidmore students, in drag and out. Thanks for making Skidmore a more fabulous place these past four years!

Ren (Class of ‘06) is a senior art major and student activist. This year marks Ren’s fourth Skidmore drag show performance. http://taxishoes.blogspot.com. Kid Cock, drag king extrodinaire, is a premiere Miami stud and itinerant member of the Drama Kings drag troupe (http://www.thedramakings.com). He is a versatile performer, also available for private shows.

Amanda aka Johnny Wayne
Amanda (‘06) [sic] is proud and a little intimidated to performing in drag for the first time tonight. She comes from a town in NH about the size of Case Center, and is a huge fan of being in a place with more people than cows. Amanda is a member of PULSE & the Skidmore Debate Society. Johnny Wane is mighty pleased to be makin’ his debut, y’all. Just your average cowboy, Johnny loves ropin’ steers, singin’ round a campfire, and lassoing ladies.

Liz aka Zach
Liz is one of the most awesome people on this planet! She hails from Long Island so she knows all about cowboys! Yeehah! She enjoys watching shows like Will and Grace, The Nanny, and other crap on Lifetime, but frequently Zach, her alter-ego, takes over and he watches hours of C.S.I. on Spike until his head explodes. In their spare time, they enjoy playing board games, chillin’ with their roomies, and scoping out straight girls.

Amanda aka Seamus McFeely
A junior, Amanda has performed in the Drag Show for three years. She is a women’s studies major. Hobbies include: going to shows, videogames, being with her buddies, fart jokes. Her previous drag personalities include a rapper and an Italian stallion. Seamus is your typical Irish punker. He drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, and curses like a sailor. Feel
free to kick his ass and buy him a beer after the show.

Jacob aka Mia
Jacob: Class of 2008 is pleased to be returning to the runway for his second drag show. He would like to thank all of the supportive people that are in his life and the Skidmore Community for being so awesome. Mia is thrilled to be making a second consecutive appearance at SPA’s Annual Drag Show. She is this years Mr. Skidmore, Queer as Prom runner up, and wants to send all her love to her fellow performers and all of her friends!

Mariah aka Richard Head
Name: Mariah MacCarthy. King name: Richard Head. Song: “Wanna B Ur Lovr” by Weird Al. Mariah is a theater major. We have no idea who Richard Head is.

Order:

I.
Opening (Jez & Ez - the professional queens)
Queen Bee
Kid Cock - My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada, from Avenue Q
Johnny Wayne and Spike - Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy
Jez (solo)
Mia - Boom Boom by Britney Spears ft Ying Yang twins

intermission

II.
Ez & Jez - Brokeback skit to open
Seamus McFeely and Kid Cock - Drink and Fight/Irish Drinking Song.
Mia - Check On It by Beyonce
Richard Head - Wanna Be Ur Lovr by Weird Al
(J?)Ez - Optional #
Queen Bee
Rayne Bobrite
Closing (Ez & Jez)

I set up the order using guidelines Ross (Jez) e-mailed to Phred. I chose to go last so that I'd have enough time for a costume change between my last two numbers. It's too bad, because I didn't get to see Manny's last number and I really, really wanted to. I heard it was amazing and very sacrilegious. All I know is, he went out there with a crown of thorns, and he needed a chair . . .

Ez and Jez are pretty good, they put in a lot of effort, they're creative . . . though after what I saw in Dublin their act seems almost rated G. Then again, I only saw the opening. I hope someday to actually be able to watch them perform.

As for the Queen Bee, I'm really glad she came back to the stage for (another) farewell performance. Queen Bee has something in common with Cher, eh?

As for me, aka "Kid Cock" -- someone screwed up my music. I realize it's half my fault for having 2 songs on the CD instead of 1, but oh well. I was mortified. I stood there for about five minutes while the DJs got shit together for my one-minute song. Then I finally got on and gave a half-assed performance. Plus the music was incredibly quiet and I looked like even more of an ass lip-synching to it.

Johnny Wayne and Spike were so adorable it hurt! They just needed a lot more sexual innuendo. Seriously now, kids. I wish I could've coached them a little before they went on. But their choreography was great, very acrobatic! And did I mention that they were adorable?

Amanda (aka Seamus) has the best drag king names. I couldn't even come up with one, and Amanda comes up with one after another, year after year. Amanda also managed to transform nerdy little me into some semblance of a punker: borrowing Amanda's pants and band tee, with Amanda's belt, some suspenders and my own boots. Once Amanda put the finishing touches on my hair (spiked and sprayed green) it was enough to appeal to a die-hard punksexual.

We went on and did our number without a hitch (that I noticed, anyway). Jen, our guest Irish dancer, helped us out. I've wanted to do some kind of punky drag number for a while, so I'm awfully glad Seamus made that happen. I couldn't have pulled it off otherwise. Also, Amanda donned a black eye, which looked very realistic. Niiice touch.

Manny and Jacob seemed to get along surprisingly well. Manny kept asking Amanda and Jacob if they knew or remembered certain things, and being disappointed with them and saying things like, "Have I taught you nothing!"

We also related the legendary stories about Manny's performance the year before last, when he sprained his ankle jumping off the stage and had to go to the hospital -- but first, he went on for his final number, with a sprained ankle. Then he went to the hospital, with Ryan, and everyone was very confused about his gender.

"Were they heels or boots?"

"Boots. I thought it would be easier in boots --"

"Well, it's tricky, because with boots you think you can put weight on the heel, but --"

"But you can't!"

"Exactly."

See, drag queening should totally be in the Olympics.

Anyway, Manny kept referring to all the kings as "lesbians," even though we all said, "Uh, none of us are lesbians." He kept throwing out these half-formed theories about why we would deny being lesbians.

"That's because you women always have to be a minority! How many girls in this room have made out with another girl? . . . Okay, see? And if you went out there" (pointing to the Spa) "the answer wouldn't be much different! So, see, you just want to feel special . . ."

And: "Identity is a good thing! Why do you just want to be 'people'? That's boring! See, we're fags." (Meaning Manny and Jacob.)

"Right, it's very simple," said Jacob, who has in the past insisted that he likes girls, too.

"We might make out with girls when we're drunk, but we don't need another word," Manny further enlightened us.

I tried to explain that we were each our own specific thing, so collectively you could refer to us as just "people." It didn't mean we didn't have our own identities, just that he didn't know what those were. Manny seemed very confused; maybe I wasn't being this clear. I was also okay with him referring to us collectively as "freaks." He had a problem with that, though.

And the story behind "Rayne Bobrite"? I couldn't think of a better name. I also didn't decide what song to perform to until about thirty minutes before the show started. In the end I chose this song which I only know from the first mix CD Oli ever made me.

Amanda '09 saved my ass big-time by doing my make-up for me. All of the make-up (including the eyelashes) and the skirt belong to a somewhat closeted drag queen I know and love.

I started out facing away from the audience, draped in a black sheet. At "pretty girl," when the music picks up, I dropped the sheet and turned around. People cheered. Or maybe I imagined that part. I forgot a few words and was not quite as insane with the arm gestures as I'd been aiming for, but it went okay!

This is the only pic I have from the show so far, courtesy of Maggie and her facebook album:



Queening in the show was exhilerating and I'm glad I did it. Liz B-R was incredibly enthusiastic about this performance. She came up to me the night of the show and also the next day in Case to tell me that I was awesome. (Weird.)

Post-show

After the show, Amanda drove Hope and me and all my crap to the house, and then Hope and I trekked over to the Tang party to dance for a bit with P.W., Gabby, Amanda '09 and . . . Mariah. Mariah was still in drag from the show, with a tie and goatee, but on top of this she had a pink sweater and a little purse. "Grannyfag" is the best adjective I can think of here, and I could not shut up about it. The art was fascinating (there were installations outside) and the dancing was okay (only because we knew people, H and G had a dance-off, etc.) but it was cold! Plus there was someone to worry about so we left early. But everything turned out okay

More reflections on femme drag

I've done the drag queen thing before, but this year was the first time I tried it on a stage. I dressed up for Halloween, for example. I know I also did this a couple years in a row for National Coming Out Day, and went all rainbowtastic with it. I wish I could find the journal entry I made about the last time I did that, probably last school year -- I wore my blue wig and went to all of my classes in that and my army-miniskirt and pink platform shoes. I clearly remember going to set up the table for NCOD, and some gay boy was dressed up with glitter or something, and I was all, "Uh uh, I'm the center of attention here." Apparently my inner drag queen is also a bitchy diva. I can't remember if I actually said something at that juncture -- I think I did, can't recall what. I clearly remember Elizabeth walking into our "Art History of Africa, Oceania and the Americas" discussion section in the Tang, not acknowledging me until I said, "Hey," and then saying, "Oh! It's you! . . . I was wondering, who is that girl with the blue hair?'" I remember being more included with "the girls" in comm design, even though my get-up was pretty obviously zany drag. I remember walking sashaying through Case and getting suddenly tired of the entire thing, just a sudden wave of gender-expression-exhaustion, and thinking, Okay, that's it, I need to change my clothes.

It's really weird how I act differently when dressed up like this. For example, I expected Hope to be holding up this sweater for me instead of taking it from her to put on myself. Er, not sure what else. Sometimes I find it easier to flirt when dressed up like this, ('cause it's sort of a joke?) and sometimes I find it impossible to interact with people because I'm not sure if they know it's drag. Though I guess the further I take it the more obvious it is that it shouldn't be taken seriously, like no one will mistake me for a "real girl;" even if they think I am a girl they can see that what I'm wearing is a costume.

This is a huge contrast in my mind with, say, my sophomore year at Skidmore. I'd grown my hair out for Camp NoMiBe the previous summer, so it was all long and curly. Somehow, this indicated that I ought to dress more like a girl. My first day of LS1 Tutoring class, I wore a (brand new!) denim skirt. (Oh, I remember when my mom enjoyed shopping with me . . .) I was very nervous on my way to class, thinking I looked too dressed up (I did not), wondering if everyone was going to stare at me for wearing these ridiculous clothes, etc. I felt really uncomfortable! But when I got to class, two or three girls were wearing denim skirts very similar to mine. I could breathe a sigh of relief: I'd gotten it right.

Soo, there's some drag, eh? A costume, a performance . . . I don't know. Sure, all gender is drag, but some gender expressions seem much more sustainable and comfortable. At this point, I have a hard time understanding people who are okay moving through the world being read as clearly female almost all the time. I don't know how they do it. I'm not sure I can do that. And the idea of having to walk around every day in "women's" clothing is sort of horrifying. Could I actually do that again, on a regular basis? I don't think I could.

Unless perhaps it involved candy-colored wigs and sparkly false eyelashes.

Gender-neutral restrooms @ Skidmore - subcommittee says YES.

I just got out of this subcommittee meeting, and basically, Dean Oles said -- "This committee has been looking at the [gender-neutral restrooms SGA] resolution in terms of enactment. We're aware of the practical problems involved, but it isn't something we have to be sold on."

They plan to take this to the larger IPPC* committee, and hopefully convert two multi-stall restrooms (in the library and a main academic building) to gender-neutral restrooms over the summer, and then do an education campaign (possibly in conjunction with our Pride Alliance?)
about the conversion in the fall. They're also going to study the locker room and restroom issue in the sports center. They said there are people on the subcommittee who will be there next year, too, and can keep this issue on the table, and hopefully convince new subcommittee members that creating more gender-neutral restrooms is hands down the best thing to do.

In sum, they sort of . . . care. If it's not their first priority, it sure is on their list. I'm kinda stunned! I'm looking forward to working with them to see this through and make sure things actually happen.

Gender-neutral restrooms @ Skidmore?!

Well, apparently some obscure committee is meeting Wednesday morning with regard to the fate of our restrooms. Petria, the Student Government Association President, finally e-mailed me this today. (I've been after her for weeks, asking her to tell me what's going on):

"The Student Affairs Sub-Committee of IPPC meets on Wednesday at 8 a.m. in the Government Dept. Conference room (3rd floor case). I have misplaced the information about which buildings have no gender neutral bathrooms in them, but Dave Bernstein is going to dig that up for you. I assume (that from experience) people have a pulse on what bathrooms need turnover anyway.

Anyway, let me know how many people are coming. While Pat Oles [the relevant dean] and I are not on good speaking terms, I will get you at the top of the agenda. There is nothing more to report that's "going-on." I have not been able to work well with Pat on many issues this year. This is really the first time I could get you on the agenda anyway.

-Petria"

No one can tell me what the IPPC is. Petria hasn't gotten back to me. Dave Bernstein e-mailed me, but his information about the specific restrooms was inaccurate. I asked him: How does the resolution SGA has already passed resolving to have one gender-neutral restroom in
each building affect this? How does the resolution SGA has already passed asking the administration to add gender identity/expression to Skidmore's non-discrimination statement affect this?

In sum: I'm nervous about this meeting. I'd like the committee to make some multiple-stall bathrooms gender-neutral and guarantee gender-neutral bathrooms in future construction.

I just invited everyone I know on facebook.com to join my Coalition to End Urinary Segregation group! It's silly, yeah, but it makes me feel better somehow. If they're not pro-gender-neutral bathrooms, are they really my friends?

Pesach with the First-years!

On Tuesday, Amanda invited me to her seder/party in a dorm room. Sabrina was gonna be there, plus some other fun people (though I didn't know who yet) so it already sounded better than JSU's seder. I was very excited! In fact, this invitation made my week. The only thing lacking in these first-years' seder was wine, and hey, what are upperclassmen friends for?

So I went to Putnam on Wednesday morning and bought my first ever legal Pesach wine! It was so easy! I just walked in and asked, "Do you have kosher wines?" And this cute salesperson showed me everything they had. Apparently they were almost sold out, because there are Jews in Saratoga. Hm. I got one bottle of red and one bottle of white, showed the guy my id, and he bagged the wines for me. Amazed, I texted Oli to say something like: "I just bought my 1st legal Pesach wine! It reminds me of how we got wine last year at Pesach." Which, naturally, had involved getting Aimee the Butch, who we'd randomly met at the Transforming Feminism Conference, to buy it for us.

I spent the rest of my day printing, cutting up, pasting, Xeroxing and binding eight copies of the Love and Justice in times of War Haggadah Zine! For some reason the pdf you can download and print is not formatted correctly for actually binding into booklet form, so I had to reconstitute things a bit.



Ezra hung out with me in the studio for a while as I pounded nails through paper and string through holes. We also ran into Gabby, which was a nice surprise. By the time 8 pm rolled around, I had everything but the corkscrew, which I had to borrow from Hope. I even had my knit kippa, and I'd brought an extra one. At first Max wore it, but he left and had to pass it off to someone else. I'm not sure if Max dislikes me, or if I just don't understand his sense of humor. Maybe both.

Anyhow, the seder was done in just under 2 hours, including the meal! (Of course, the shulchan orech consisted of: matzah ball soup, gefilte fish, pickles, and kugel. That's it.) My only regret: I forgot my YIDcore CD.

The best part was that everyone had so much fun with this haggadah, they all kept their copies. I'm not sure how many of the organizer/activist jokes people got, but whatever. We skipped all the potentially controversial things, particularly the contemporary plagues section. But hey, this seder was still awesome. People were totally into it. And these kids remind me a lot of my first-year-of-college group of friends. For example, they're not prudes, but they don't really drink.

Thank you to Amanda for organizing such a fantastic seder/party, and to everyone who was there, who read and drank and sang and participated.

Video: too beautiful to be an alcohol commercial.

Commercials for alcohol should not be allowed to be this sexy -- but this one is.

NUJLS conference 2006

This weekend I went to Wesleyan in Middletown, CT for the 2006 NUJLS conference. NUJLS is the National Union for Jewish LGBTIQQ Students. This year marked my third time attending their annual conference: last year in Chicago I got to see my friend Heather, and this year I got to see my friend Bea.

I arrived on Friday afternoon in the New Haven train station and called to ask the conference chair where we were meeting the shuttle – “In the semi-circular driveway. And try to gather everyone together. You know, just look for the other queer Jews.” (Unbelievably, this worked. I found Elana, then she spotted Jeff, and he spotted Nathan. Go gaydar+Jewdar!) Some dude just in from Ft. Lauderdale came up and borrowed Jeff's cell, and kept saying, "Yeah, I'm back home, oh shit, the ghetto," and then I said I was from FL and we argued over whether New Haven or Liberty City was more ghetto. This dude was messed up, but eventually he left us alone. The shuttle wasn’t too late and brought us to the Bayit at Wesleyan. Outside, these Wes kids who were hosting told me and some NUJLS dude about the gastroenteritis going around, and then someone leaned out over the balcony above us and reiterated: “Poop!” It was beautiful and ghastly.

I got impatient waiting for Zach, so I finally called Bea -- turned out she was just around the corner! I finally met her S.O. plus a couple other people whose names I forget. I hung out at Bea's just long enough to be late for Shabbat services, but not too late; I didn’t get lost; I got right into the swing of things and even got to sit in a chair. I knew most of the tunes and stuff, even really exciting ones I haven’t heard in ages. Nathan and Vinny led the service and it was awesome. The Wesleyan student group’s siddur is super professional, and includes about 5 versions of the amidah, including a feminist version with G-d’s name and all dependent words switched to the feminine forms (fairly extensive changes in Hebrew) – I am deeply impressed and think fondly of Oli’s Shabbat service.

I spoke with Judy waiting for dinner and met Margaux of Wash U. At dinner I ended up sitting with some awesome people, which is rare for me; usually I get stuck with very awkward seating arrangements at this sort of thing. The meal had no entrees I could eat, but that’s what I get for not taking food allergies seriously and actually informing anyone! I saw Bear, who was in hyper conference mode but still gave me a hug. Other highlights included Vinny and I yelling to make people sing something specific, and great songs such as Al Kol Eileh.

After dinner we headed back to the Bayit for Rabbi Joel Alter’s keynote, which was . . . somewhat interesting. After that I played Uno with a bunch of people for a long, long time, perhaps three hours, and developed inside jokes such as the fact that yellow is Bryan's lucky color and it has something to do with bananas. Bea came back home to spend the night with me, which was awfully nice of her, especially since I'd missed her earlier phone call.

The next morning, Bea made us cream of wheat and we talked about unturkey and other stuff I can’t recall. I didn’t go to services, but oh well, we slept for about 10 hours! Once at lunch, I noshed with Judy outside 'cause the weather was beautiful.

I attended a workshop about Passover and gay liberation with Rabbi Joel Alter. Honestly, I found the workshop disappointing. While it was very participant-driven, the Rabbi didn’t do much to deepen our insights. Plus, "gay liberation" is pretty dated as a phrase and a concept. By attending this, I missed the Michael Feldman performance which (according to several people I spoke to later) was amazing.

During the break I had a nice walk with Margaux and someone else. After that I attended a decent workshop on LGBT sexual assault/domestic violence. I am now determined to formulate my own workshop about how how to eroticize consent! Then there were yummy snacks, especially the popcorn. At snack time I had a cool conversation with this kid Dave, about writing and art and the way we come up with ideas. I also spoke with Vinny, Aime and some other folks about “Is our expanding understanding of gender destabilizing (categories of?) sexual orientation?” Aime and I say, yes. “I am so confused, how does any of this make sense?”

The Trans Caucus followed snack time and was fantastic at many points, though I always want conversations like this to go longer. Zach worked up this brilliant bingo game, and I stole the entire basket of popcorn. (For the game, really . . .) Highlights of conversation: trans mikvah rituals and male vs. female vs. male-and-trans vs. not-trans-enough etc etc, gay males who’d rather be on the women’s side of the mehitzah, whose truth is relevant in which situation. We did not go into my shomer negiah thing or a surgerical intervention thing someone else brought up. I asked why there are no out mtf+ people at these conferences and Razi gave me an abbreviated explanation that I didn't get. I felt dumb.

That night I could actually eat the dinner. Ryan and I discussed Hillel (the student org) and Zionist agendas, among other things. Havdallah was great, though I suppose nothing can compare with last year’s emotional sharing and exuberant dancing. Michael hugged everyone. (“Whoa, that was kind of intense.”) Later he told me he’d been the one who’d initiated the sharing last year. This year it was more of a, “And we’d like to thank Daniel,” “And I’d like to thank the Wesleyan students who helped me,” and official “thank you”s to the e-board and Nathan. There was nothing more personal from the people there, which we had last year. Havdallah is really the only chance for closure at these NUJLS things, so . . . blah. Bear said good-bye and told me that I should call or e-mail sometime, which is pretty sweet.

After dinner we watched a film, and then I ran off to meet Bea & co. We saw V for Vendetta at a nearby movie theater. I enjoyed it a lot. After that movie I set off on my own again to see if my conference was still dancing in MoCon. They were! (PS: MoCon looks so much like the Moore Hall dhall it is scary.) I found people to dance with, including Michael (who almost rivals Michael/Alex of Miami in sheer hotness and talent of dancing), Hillel (who dances like an idiot, and made me feel right at home ‘cause that’s how my best dancing friends and I dance), Alan (who dances badly like a straight boy . . . and also a lot like me) and Rachel (anyone can pretend to have glow stick skillz, thanks for reminding me! . . . she also reminded me of Heather in this instant, haha).

Razi told me, “You know when you were dancing with Michael? Yeah, that was hot. I thought you should have an outsider’s perspective.” Michael said, “I love dancing with you!” (Help, I feel my head swelling.) Almost everyone seemed to have fun at this dance! Even Alan said it was the first organized, night-time NUJLS event he'd actually enjoyed.

Sunday I missed all the workshops 'cause I had to leave so early . . . but at least I didn’t have to decide which one to go to. That would’ve been tough! Michael and I took the same train back to NYC, so we had some fun conversations en route.

I'm sorry I didn't bring my camera! Oh well. Maybe next year?