2006 Skidmore Drag Show

Getting ready for this show was very stressful. Presidents Phred and Alex and some theater major I don't know really saved the day, plus volunteers like Morgan and possibly other people I didn't notice. This girl had borrowed the fuses out of the lights in Case! So they had to get more fuses! Ahh. I had so much crap to lug over to Case, and I spent most of my day working on the (ultimately boring and full of text) programs.





Performer Bios
in order of appearance ['cause otherwise I was gonna list students in the order that I like them best, which would be . . . difficult]

The Amazing Esmerelda* (Psychic to the Stars) was born in the little-known eastern European province of Lower Shitolia. The humble love child of an Italian sheep herder and a Jewish gypsy, she came to America seeking her fortune. After using her visions and other hallucinations to become a psychic advisor to the likes of Liza and Capote, she quickly found fame on the Catskills borscht belt and downtown Las Vegas circuits. Today, Esmerelda is in high demand with mid-grade bar mitzvahs and Shriner conventions nationwide. She is also the winter artist-in-residence at Ziggy’s Crab Shack and All-You-Can Eat
Buffet in Boca Raton, Florida. Her autobiography, “Buffet for One,” is due out next spring from Little Golden Cross Books, publishers of inspirational children stories for born-again Christians.

* We are contractually required to describe this bitch as “amazing."

Jezebel (Black Widow to the Stars) was born in a stagnant backwater port in the Commonwealth of East Virginia in a time somewhat before our own. Though raised with the pretense of every advantage, she gave it all up to pursue her true love—marriage. Her first husband, Elmer, died in a tragic hunting accident (in their living room) soon after she found out that his trust fund was empty. As part of her community service, Jezebel serves on the school board of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Academy, a Catholic reformatory for the performing arts, where she runs the theater program and serves as chief sub. Other inspirational details of Jezebel’s life can be discovered in her first autobiography, “So There I Was, Naked,” available
at fine backrooms everywhere.

Ez & Jez first met at the Miss Mount Airy Lodge Beauty Pageant in the Poconos. Jezebel was crowned the winner after Esmerelda was found flagrante delicto with one of the judge’s sons, despite Ez’s claim that she was simply engaged in her “talent competition.” Jez herself fell under suspicion later that evening when a freak accident caused by a cigarette butt dropped into a bottle of vodka resulted in the resort being burned to the ground. With few prospects, the two banded together and pledged to bring their unique brand of glamour and entertainment to adoring fans everywhere. They are pleased to receive your
adulation and support!

Manny aka Queen Bee
Manny, Class of 2006, aka the Queen Bee, did not submit a bio. So: Manny and the Queen Bee have been an inspiration for many Skidmore students, in drag and out. Thanks for making Skidmore a more fabulous place these past four years!

Ren (Class of ‘06) is a senior art major and student activist. This year marks Ren’s fourth Skidmore drag show performance. http://taxishoes.blogspot.com. Kid Cock, drag king extrodinaire, is a premiere Miami stud and itinerant member of the Drama Kings drag troupe (http://www.thedramakings.com). He is a versatile performer, also available for private shows.

Amanda aka Johnny Wayne
Amanda (‘06) [sic] is proud and a little intimidated to performing in drag for the first time tonight. She comes from a town in NH about the size of Case Center, and is a huge fan of being in a place with more people than cows. Amanda is a member of PULSE & the Skidmore Debate Society. Johnny Wane is mighty pleased to be makin’ his debut, y’all. Just your average cowboy, Johnny loves ropin’ steers, singin’ round a campfire, and lassoing ladies.

Liz aka Zach
Liz is one of the most awesome people on this planet! She hails from Long Island so she knows all about cowboys! Yeehah! She enjoys watching shows like Will and Grace, The Nanny, and other crap on Lifetime, but frequently Zach, her alter-ego, takes over and he watches hours of C.S.I. on Spike until his head explodes. In their spare time, they enjoy playing board games, chillin’ with their roomies, and scoping out straight girls.

Amanda aka Seamus McFeely
A junior, Amanda has performed in the Drag Show for three years. She is a women’s studies major. Hobbies include: going to shows, videogames, being with her buddies, fart jokes. Her previous drag personalities include a rapper and an Italian stallion. Seamus is your typical Irish punker. He drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, and curses like a sailor. Feel
free to kick his ass and buy him a beer after the show.

Jacob aka Mia
Jacob: Class of 2008 is pleased to be returning to the runway for his second drag show. He would like to thank all of the supportive people that are in his life and the Skidmore Community for being so awesome. Mia is thrilled to be making a second consecutive appearance at SPA’s Annual Drag Show. She is this years Mr. Skidmore, Queer as Prom runner up, and wants to send all her love to her fellow performers and all of her friends!

Mariah aka Richard Head
Name: Mariah MacCarthy. King name: Richard Head. Song: “Wanna B Ur Lovr” by Weird Al. Mariah is a theater major. We have no idea who Richard Head is.

Order:

I.
Opening (Jez & Ez - the professional queens)
Queen Bee
Kid Cock - My Girlfriend Who Lives in Canada, from Avenue Q
Johnny Wayne and Spike - Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy
Jez (solo)
Mia - Boom Boom by Britney Spears ft Ying Yang twins

intermission

II.
Ez & Jez - Brokeback skit to open
Seamus McFeely and Kid Cock - Drink and Fight/Irish Drinking Song.
Mia - Check On It by Beyonce
Richard Head - Wanna Be Ur Lovr by Weird Al
(J?)Ez - Optional #
Queen Bee
Rayne Bobrite
Closing (Ez & Jez)

I set up the order using guidelines Ross (Jez) e-mailed to Phred. I chose to go last so that I'd have enough time for a costume change between my last two numbers. It's too bad, because I didn't get to see Manny's last number and I really, really wanted to. I heard it was amazing and very sacrilegious. All I know is, he went out there with a crown of thorns, and he needed a chair . . .

Ez and Jez are pretty good, they put in a lot of effort, they're creative . . . though after what I saw in Dublin their act seems almost rated G. Then again, I only saw the opening. I hope someday to actually be able to watch them perform.

As for the Queen Bee, I'm really glad she came back to the stage for (another) farewell performance. Queen Bee has something in common with Cher, eh?

As for me, aka "Kid Cock" -- someone screwed up my music. I realize it's half my fault for having 2 songs on the CD instead of 1, but oh well. I was mortified. I stood there for about five minutes while the DJs got shit together for my one-minute song. Then I finally got on and gave a half-assed performance. Plus the music was incredibly quiet and I looked like even more of an ass lip-synching to it.

Johnny Wayne and Spike were so adorable it hurt! They just needed a lot more sexual innuendo. Seriously now, kids. I wish I could've coached them a little before they went on. But their choreography was great, very acrobatic! And did I mention that they were adorable?

Amanda (aka Seamus) has the best drag king names. I couldn't even come up with one, and Amanda comes up with one after another, year after year. Amanda also managed to transform nerdy little me into some semblance of a punker: borrowing Amanda's pants and band tee, with Amanda's belt, some suspenders and my own boots. Once Amanda put the finishing touches on my hair (spiked and sprayed green) it was enough to appeal to a die-hard punksexual.

We went on and did our number without a hitch (that I noticed, anyway). Jen, our guest Irish dancer, helped us out. I've wanted to do some kind of punky drag number for a while, so I'm awfully glad Seamus made that happen. I couldn't have pulled it off otherwise. Also, Amanda donned a black eye, which looked very realistic. Niiice touch.

Manny and Jacob seemed to get along surprisingly well. Manny kept asking Amanda and Jacob if they knew or remembered certain things, and being disappointed with them and saying things like, "Have I taught you nothing!"

We also related the legendary stories about Manny's performance the year before last, when he sprained his ankle jumping off the stage and had to go to the hospital -- but first, he went on for his final number, with a sprained ankle. Then he went to the hospital, with Ryan, and everyone was very confused about his gender.

"Were they heels or boots?"

"Boots. I thought it would be easier in boots --"

"Well, it's tricky, because with boots you think you can put weight on the heel, but --"

"But you can't!"

"Exactly."

See, drag queening should totally be in the Olympics.

Anyway, Manny kept referring to all the kings as "lesbians," even though we all said, "Uh, none of us are lesbians." He kept throwing out these half-formed theories about why we would deny being lesbians.

"That's because you women always have to be a minority! How many girls in this room have made out with another girl? . . . Okay, see? And if you went out there" (pointing to the Spa) "the answer wouldn't be much different! So, see, you just want to feel special . . ."

And: "Identity is a good thing! Why do you just want to be 'people'? That's boring! See, we're fags." (Meaning Manny and Jacob.)

"Right, it's very simple," said Jacob, who has in the past insisted that he likes girls, too.

"We might make out with girls when we're drunk, but we don't need another word," Manny further enlightened us.

I tried to explain that we were each our own specific thing, so collectively you could refer to us as just "people." It didn't mean we didn't have our own identities, just that he didn't know what those were. Manny seemed very confused; maybe I wasn't being this clear. I was also okay with him referring to us collectively as "freaks." He had a problem with that, though.

And the story behind "Rayne Bobrite"? I couldn't think of a better name. I also didn't decide what song to perform to until about thirty minutes before the show started. In the end I chose this song which I only know from the first mix CD Oli ever made me.

Amanda '09 saved my ass big-time by doing my make-up for me. All of the make-up (including the eyelashes) and the skirt belong to a somewhat closeted drag queen I know and love.

I started out facing away from the audience, draped in a black sheet. At "pretty girl," when the music picks up, I dropped the sheet and turned around. People cheered. Or maybe I imagined that part. I forgot a few words and was not quite as insane with the arm gestures as I'd been aiming for, but it went okay!

This is the only pic I have from the show so far, courtesy of Maggie and her facebook album:



Queening in the show was exhilerating and I'm glad I did it. Liz B-R was incredibly enthusiastic about this performance. She came up to me the night of the show and also the next day in Case to tell me that I was awesome. (Weird.)

Post-show

After the show, Amanda drove Hope and me and all my crap to the house, and then Hope and I trekked over to the Tang party to dance for a bit with P.W., Gabby, Amanda '09 and . . . Mariah. Mariah was still in drag from the show, with a tie and goatee, but on top of this she had a pink sweater and a little purse. "Grannyfag" is the best adjective I can think of here, and I could not shut up about it. The art was fascinating (there were installations outside) and the dancing was okay (only because we knew people, H and G had a dance-off, etc.) but it was cold! Plus there was someone to worry about so we left early. But everything turned out okay

More reflections on femme drag

I've done the drag queen thing before, but this year was the first time I tried it on a stage. I dressed up for Halloween, for example. I know I also did this a couple years in a row for National Coming Out Day, and went all rainbowtastic with it. I wish I could find the journal entry I made about the last time I did that, probably last school year -- I wore my blue wig and went to all of my classes in that and my army-miniskirt and pink platform shoes. I clearly remember going to set up the table for NCOD, and some gay boy was dressed up with glitter or something, and I was all, "Uh uh, I'm the center of attention here." Apparently my inner drag queen is also a bitchy diva. I can't remember if I actually said something at that juncture -- I think I did, can't recall what. I clearly remember Elizabeth walking into our "Art History of Africa, Oceania and the Americas" discussion section in the Tang, not acknowledging me until I said, "Hey," and then saying, "Oh! It's you! . . . I was wondering, who is that girl with the blue hair?'" I remember being more included with "the girls" in comm design, even though my get-up was pretty obviously zany drag. I remember walking sashaying through Case and getting suddenly tired of the entire thing, just a sudden wave of gender-expression-exhaustion, and thinking, Okay, that's it, I need to change my clothes.

It's really weird how I act differently when dressed up like this. For example, I expected Hope to be holding up this sweater for me instead of taking it from her to put on myself. Er, not sure what else. Sometimes I find it easier to flirt when dressed up like this, ('cause it's sort of a joke?) and sometimes I find it impossible to interact with people because I'm not sure if they know it's drag. Though I guess the further I take it the more obvious it is that it shouldn't be taken seriously, like no one will mistake me for a "real girl;" even if they think I am a girl they can see that what I'm wearing is a costume.

This is a huge contrast in my mind with, say, my sophomore year at Skidmore. I'd grown my hair out for Camp NoMiBe the previous summer, so it was all long and curly. Somehow, this indicated that I ought to dress more like a girl. My first day of LS1 Tutoring class, I wore a (brand new!) denim skirt. (Oh, I remember when my mom enjoyed shopping with me . . .) I was very nervous on my way to class, thinking I looked too dressed up (I did not), wondering if everyone was going to stare at me for wearing these ridiculous clothes, etc. I felt really uncomfortable! But when I got to class, two or three girls were wearing denim skirts very similar to mine. I could breathe a sigh of relief: I'd gotten it right.

Soo, there's some drag, eh? A costume, a performance . . . I don't know. Sure, all gender is drag, but some gender expressions seem much more sustainable and comfortable. At this point, I have a hard time understanding people who are okay moving through the world being read as clearly female almost all the time. I don't know how they do it. I'm not sure I can do that. And the idea of having to walk around every day in "women's" clothing is sort of horrifying. Could I actually do that again, on a regular basis? I don't think I could.

Unless perhaps it involved candy-colored wigs and sparkly false eyelashes.