response from Recess

From: recess [recess@gwu.edu] Sent: Tue 2/28/2006 3:39 PM
To: (me)
Cc:
Subject: Re: saw you at the national college comedy festival
Attachments:
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Dear Ren,

We thank you for the time and consideration you have clearly put into this paper. However, we felt that the research was poor, and referring us to a rumormill website severly weakened your point. We are forced to give you a "B-" for this attempt. If you would like to re-write the paper with revisions made, we will be more than happy to average your two grades. Be careful though because lower grades on the second paper will still be averaged. Don't forget journals are due before spring break.

Best,

receSs
Office Hours: MTR 10am-12pm

17th Annual College Comedy Festival

So, I went to this comedy festival with Hope, and the college groups' show we went to (Friday night, second show) was mostly amazing. I will never forget that gay killer whale or the "Dank Cola" executives eating babies.

But I'll also never forget the group from GWU. I need to look at the program again and figure out what their name is, because I'm drafting a letter.

I have never been so offended by a comedy show in my life.

Draft of letter so far:

------------


To the members of Recess at GWU:

I'm a student at Skidmore College, and I saw you perform on Friday night, February 10th at the 17th Annual National College Comedy Festival. I am writing this letter because your group seemed unaware of the implications of your comedy sketches. Perhaps you intended to offend and insult people. If so, consider this a letter of congratulations. If you wish to avoid insulting large groups of people in your future performances, perhaps you will take some of my comments into account.

Your opening film, which showed a male performer playing a woman in labor, put me off slightly. After all -- yes, intense emotions are involved in women giving birth; yes, lots of hormones come into play; yes, this might be humorous in some contexts. Unfortunately, your depiction gave the impression that you were skewering women who are giving birth. Sorry, but I value women who are willing to push babies out through their vaginas, and there is no reason to make fun of that courageous and miraculous feat.

I attempted to put aside my misgivings and enjoy the rest of your show. But if your intention with this next segment was satire, you failed. This is the sketch involving a female god giving different babies their introductions to the world, letting them know what their gender assignments would entail. The girl, for example, was told that she would encounter a glass ceiling preventing her from rising in the business world. As I'm sure you know, the glass ceiling is the result of men's oppression of women. It is not intrinsic to the condition of being female. But hey, way to dismiss that and reinscribe patriarchy as divinely ordained. The upside to being a girl? She can use her breasts to get free drinks. After all, the only thing a girl has going for her are her looks and sex appeal! Then, god tells the baby boy that his life will be easy; his mother will take care of him, and then he'll find a wife. Again, a female god endorses the subjugation of women; their purpose is to take care of men. Third, we have an intersex infant, mischaracterized as "having both [genitals]." Actually, there are a great variety of intersex conditions, and true hermaphroditism (where an individual has full-formed sets of male and female reproductive organs) is not possible in our species. Snails are hermaphrodites. Earthworms are hermaphrodites. Humans are intersex. If you'd like more information about what "intersex" means, and the issues facing intersex people, ISNA.org is a great website. Also, Jamie Lee Curtis is probably not intersex (see http://www.snopes.com/movies/actors/jamie.htm). Most importantly, people with intersex conditions are HUMAN BEINGS. Despite the shame and secrecy surrounding intersex conditions, being intersex in itself does not mean someone's entire life is ruined. But in your act, intersex people's existence itself is treated as a joke, and their struggles are simplified to a giant scribble blotting out any chance at a happy or productive life. Just the idea of being intersex was enough to send a certain segment of the audience into peals of laughter. Did it ever occur to you that some people in your audience might have been born with ambiguous genitalia? At this juncture, frankly, I felt like throwing up and almost left the room. I stopped myself, figuring that it couldn't get any worse.

But you managed to outdo yourselves once again, with a skit recasting Hitler and "Mrs. Hitler" as a sitcom-style couple! You expected people to laugh at a pun about the "Final Solution," even as some of us know that our relatives' corpses are still rotting in mass graves all over Eastern Europe. So, that wasn't too clever. And not only did you manage to trivialize genocide, you managed to stick in gratuitous ethnic stereotypes with your Mussolini and Hirohito characters. Plus, you managed to trivialize WWII in general, despite the approximately 62 MILLION people who died in the war. Their deaths are not a joke, either. It takes a lot of skill to make fascist dictators look like jokes, and I'm sorry to say that you did not pull it off successfully.

And at last, your magnum opus, the film about beer pong! First you show how much girls suck at beer pong, reinforcing your earlier anti-woman message. They need a big strong man to train them so that they can beat the boys! A montage scene, presumably a spoof, shows the girls looking ridiculous as they "train." Finally, they beat the boys. But the boys are going to win in the end, because they have a secret stash of ping-pong ball-shaped roofies. Yes, the girls drink their drugged beers, and pass out. End of film. Right . . . so explain to me how that's funny? Well, having your beer drugged is not funny. Passing out from having your beer drugged is not funny. And what happens after you pass out? Well, you're raped by the people who drugged you. And that is not funny at all, especially to people in your audience who have actually been raped, or who have close friends or family members have been raped.

In conclusion: if you are trying to offend people, great job! If not, you should take some cues from the other college groups participating in the festival.

Sincerely.
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Comments? Criticism?

Bear performs at Skidmore

Gearing Up for Clearly Marked

Yesterday was Thursday, meaning "one of those days where I don't get to eat from 9-2." I brought a granola bar with me, but I ended up eating it at 10:30 am, so a lot of good that did me.

Then I had to print and copy programs for the show that night, and mail a package, so it was another hour before I got to eat. And first I had to say hello to Hope and Bear, 'cause they were both in the Spa. I got a sandwich and sat with Bear and Justin, who was the "stage manager" for the show. Bear gave me a hug, which surprised me; I was expecting a handshake. I was really out of it and into my sandwich. Bear threatened to inform my mother that I'm not eating. I also learned about Bear's wife's "swiffing, not swiffer-ing" letter-writing campaign. After that I ran around some more -- met with Kate, took a shower -- and headed to Davis so we could go out to dinner. Except we ended up ordering in. It was cool, much more relaxed; we students sat on the floor. We talked about ulpan, other intensive language programs (in Costa Rica), road trips, and Bear's advice for college students ("you can never make up dental hygiene or a study abroad experience").

After dinner, as we discussed logistics for the show, Bear said to me, "Oh, you've seen this before, so you know how it goes," and I had to admit the whole story about how I actually hadn't seen it before because I was trying to be at Heather's poetry reading at the same time. That would've been okay, except I also said I'd wanted to see Bear perform for years prior to that, as pathetic as that is. And ze said, "That's not pathetic." So I immediately regretted saying it was pathetic. What a dumbass thing to say. Who says that?! (Etc.)

Uhhh so then we hung out in the hallway until people showed up. Phred and I bonded over the Warsaw/ghetto joke. Then the crowds began to arrive. We had to get people to fill out labels, but I didn't know there were signs about What to Do inside the marker packaging. So I just told people, and not everyone heard; it was a mess. And I was stressing out because Prez Alex and Phred seemed way too relaxed. After we opened the doors, I yelled at them, "Okay, go usher! You're ushers, right? So, usher!"

Ahh.

I was gonna sit in the back, 'til Bear told me, "Come sit up front. Keep me company." So I did. I didn't really participate, though. The girl chosen to dance was someone I vaguely know from my Art History class. And when Bear got wrapped in the "lesbian" caution tape, Alex pulled it off -- though both of us were leaning forward and kind of waiting for the other one to do it. Overall, the show was really great -- very funny, and very moving. I'm glad I sat up front in the end. Even if I didn't participate, it was a lot more immediate.

Gender-free Restrooms

At the intermission right after the show, I went into the former men's restroom, which (at Bear's suggestion) we had de-gendered for the evening. It hadn't even occurred to me to de-gender the restrooms (dur) but we did it. When I walked in some random man was walking out, and I felt as nervous as I do when I normally walk into multi-person men's restrooms. But then, normally, I wouldn't attempt to use a men's restroom at Skidmore. Normally when I'm bleeding, I wouldn't attempt it anywhere. It's amazing what a difference agreement plus a sign on the door makes.

Ez and Amanda came in as I was going to wash my hands. They sort of laughed when they saw me. As I left the restroom, Amanda was saying, "I know I'm PMSing, beause I almost cried at the end [of the show]."

I had to go back in and tell her, "Ya know what? I almost cried when I was putting up the gender-neutral bathroom signs. How's that for PMSing!" (Even though maybe it's not technically PMS. Whatever.)

Story Telling Answers

We went back in for the Q&A. A lot of people stayed! So that was kind of exciting. Elizabeth asked a couple questions about being polyamorous and married. I asked Bear, "Have you ever had trouble with a shul, like with them not being -- cool -- about queers . . . or something?"

And the answer was basically, no. Which I find astonishing/unbelievable, possibly because (until college) all of my religious community experiences have been from a more conservative side of the Jewish-observance spectrum. But Conservative, not even Orthodox. So my reaction was basically: wtf.

Ze said something like, "Shul is the one place where I go without thinking about making a difference, but that's starting to change. Making Jewish communities more queer and trans friendly is a new area for me."

Right, okay, but it is not about "making a difference," it is about taking it personally when your community goes around saying PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE WRONG AND/OR YOU DO NOT EXIST. LALALALA I CAN'T SEE YOU . . . I'm sorry if I take that personally. Except not.

My label for the night was "JEW" because of my recent re-realization that people aren't too keen on my having that label. So I'm gonna hold onto it, thanks.

Also at some point during Q&A, Hope knocked my hat on the ground. Phred stole it. I did some violence to Phred's leg and he gave it back. Bear gave Hope a detention because ze thought it was Hope being disruptive, and she continued being disruptive in a cute way.

Personal Gender Tangent

Then this girl asked Bear, "When did you start thinking about gender?" and Bear told the story of how ze met Kate Bornstein on the Internet, which was an awesome story to hear. Bear also told us the story of the first GSA, and how they came up with the name and everything to properly represent "three queer kids and a bunch of concerned girl-children of hippy parents, and their boyfriends, whether they liked it or not." Cute. That's kind of how my high school GSA was, for the first three years. I asked about Bear's current writing projects. Apparently Butch Is a Noun comes out this fall. I forget the name of the theater piece ze's working on. I hung around after Q&A to get another hug from Bear and express a hope that ze makes it to NUJLS this year. But first we talked some more with Phred and President Alex, made fun of P. Alex's "table," and discussed who belonged to which coat. Someone asked me if I had a coat, and Bear said, "Of course Florida Boy over here has a coat!"

Which made me smile and also made me feel intensely self-conscious, wondering what Phred and Alex thought about that, simultaneously feeling glad that they should hear someone else call me a boy, then wondering if there were implications or assumptions about this on Bear's part, like did Bear think I was actually A Boy? Or was this more of how Bear calls hirself a guy, but it doesn't mean what you'd think. I'm assuming it's that last thing, so I've stopped thinking about it. BUT. It is ridiculous how I react to these things. Today, for example, my mom called Dean Hastings because Tower is closing before senior week and we all have to move out. And Dean Hastings is telling me mom, "Oh, I know REN! REN knows she can come talk to me whenever she wants! La la la!" Not that my mom actually asked me, "So, what's up with this 'ren' thing?" 'cause that's just not her style, plus she knows I have different names. But still. I thought I was gonna have an anxiety attack in the middle of Case, like my mom was gonna start interrogating me about what I am doing to the name she gave me. Sheeesh. And nothing happened! Life goes on!

After Bear left, I went over to the SAGA house and hung out with my friends there.

Tonight I ate dinner with Simon (yay) and a friend of his whose name I didn't quite catch. Apparently their other, mutual friend is the one who had the "anti-label" at the show last night: not just a blank label, but actually the sticker portion from around the actual label. It was the only really original label idea there.

Simon told me, "Y'know -- I could see -- I mean, not that Bear is you in ten years -- but -- y'know."

"Yeah, Bear is definitely a hero of mine."

"Yeah, I can see why."

Much later, Simon asked me, "Did you know the prayer she said?" We'd been discussing Angels in America, and I thought he was talking about that, but he said, "No, no, in the show last night." He was talking about Bear. Weird. I wonder if that's because I am a "she" to him, so Bear must be, too? Or -- what.

Letter to SkidNews, re: the floor

Dear editors:

Your cover story on gender-neutral housing was well timed and much appreciated. I would like to thank Mr. Bernstein for his feature article on the Gender and Orientation Safe Living Floor. He put forth exemplary amounts of effort, research, and sensitivity in penning this feature.

As the floor leader, I’d also like to clarify a few aspects of the floor, especially with regard to Mr. Alsup’s opinion piece following the feature article. As Mr. Bernstein stated, “the floor exists in order to provide a safe and affirming residential community for students of any gender identity or sexual orientation, and to educate the Skidmore Community about the topics of gender and orientation.” This is the mission of the floor, as written in our proposal. Signs on the seventh floor of Tower spell out a welcome to “ALL students, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.”

Clearly, the floor is not “a unique living space for students who are uncertain of, questioning, or feel differentiated by aspects of their gender and sexuality,” as Mr. Alsup claimed. In fact, I estimate that about half of the students living on the Safe Living Floor are heterosexual. We don’t know exactly how people identify, because most residents of the floor are cool enough not to use an “I’m straight, but” disclaimer when they discuss their residence on the floor and their concern for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and all Skidmore students.

Rigid gender roles and homophobia affect all students, not only those who self-identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. For example, according to a survey by the Safe Schools Coalition of Washington (available at http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/83000youth.pdf) 80% of public high school students harassed as gay actually identify as heterosexual. I have little doubt that this trend carries over into the college years. Homophobia affects people in many different ways: if they are harassed, people can become depressed or suicidal. In order to avoid being harassed, students may take actions such as avoiding certain activities they would otherwise enjoy, or avoiding close same-sex friendships. Anyone can be victimized because of their gender expression. If people think you’re a sissy, or that you “look gay” – all of that is about gender expression. You do not have to identify any particular way or be a member of any specific community. At least one heterosexual man I know of, Willie Houston, was actually killed for appearing to be homosexual.

This floor is not an exercise in segregation. Students who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual, transgender, transsexual, queer, and everything else currently live in all parts of Skidmore’s campus. You couldn’t fit everyone on one floor! Incidentally, I was among the group of students who wanted a gender-neutral housing option at Skidmore, meaning that anyone who wanted to live in a gender-neutral suite could be housed with other students requesting the same option, anywhere on campus. The administration felt more comfortable restricting this option to a single floor. Why do we need a gender-neutral housing option at all? It’s not just because sex-segregated housing is based on the idea that everyone is heterosexual, or because non-heterosexual students risk getting stuck with virulently homophobic roommates, although these are factors. Housing divided into “male” and “female” suites forcibly excludes some students. Those students may be transsexual – meaning their gender identity, and perhaps current secondary sex characteristics, do not match the sex assigned to them at birth, which may still be their legal sex. They may also be transgender, genderqueer, or simply gender-nonconforming. When one person in a suite looks like they are the wrong gender to be in that suite, things can get very ugly. And if a student looks like they belong in a suite, but does not identify as the sex they are assigned, this will also be an uncomfortable situation for them. So, the very structure of sex-segregated housing is part of what threatens the safety of these students. In this way, a gender-neutral housing option is fundamentally different from other theme floors.

The basis for all community is agreement. This is definitely true at Skidmore, as any Residential Life staff member knows: every floor in every dorm on campus is supposed to forge their own “community contract” covering basic agreements that will help students live together, such as quiet hours. Since the Gender and Orientation Safe Living floor has a serious commitment to being a community, and a safe community for everyone at that, we just have a little more work to do with our contract. Our agreements show that we take our mission statement and goals seriously.

What does it mean to “create a social group concerned with a single set of issues in a localized living situation”? Why not ask the pioneers of Studentship/Citizenship, or the engineers of the First Year Experience program, both of whom wanted to group members of the same classes into the same dorms? On the seventh floor of Tower, all residents are committed to a safe living situation, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. Scary, isn’t it? Who wants their identity defined as “someone committed to having a safe community for everyone”?

This floor is not expressly political. It is my personal hope that any students who share our interest in a safer Skidmore community would feel welcome on the Gender and Orientation Safe Living floor, no matter what their politics are.

Sincerely,
Ren
Gender and Orientation Safe Living floor leader