NUJLS conference 2006

This weekend I went to Wesleyan in Middletown, CT for the 2006 NUJLS conference. NUJLS is the National Union for Jewish LGBTIQQ Students. This year marked my third time attending their annual conference: last year in Chicago I got to see my friend Heather, and this year I got to see my friend Bea.

I arrived on Friday afternoon in the New Haven train station and called to ask the conference chair where we were meeting the shuttle – “In the semi-circular driveway. And try to gather everyone together. You know, just look for the other queer Jews.” (Unbelievably, this worked. I found Elana, then she spotted Jeff, and he spotted Nathan. Go gaydar+Jewdar!) Some dude just in from Ft. Lauderdale came up and borrowed Jeff's cell, and kept saying, "Yeah, I'm back home, oh shit, the ghetto," and then I said I was from FL and we argued over whether New Haven or Liberty City was more ghetto. This dude was messed up, but eventually he left us alone. The shuttle wasn’t too late and brought us to the Bayit at Wesleyan. Outside, these Wes kids who were hosting told me and some NUJLS dude about the gastroenteritis going around, and then someone leaned out over the balcony above us and reiterated: “Poop!” It was beautiful and ghastly.

I got impatient waiting for Zach, so I finally called Bea -- turned out she was just around the corner! I finally met her S.O. plus a couple other people whose names I forget. I hung out at Bea's just long enough to be late for Shabbat services, but not too late; I didn’t get lost; I got right into the swing of things and even got to sit in a chair. I knew most of the tunes and stuff, even really exciting ones I haven’t heard in ages. Nathan and Vinny led the service and it was awesome. The Wesleyan student group’s siddur is super professional, and includes about 5 versions of the amidah, including a feminist version with G-d’s name and all dependent words switched to the feminine forms (fairly extensive changes in Hebrew) – I am deeply impressed and think fondly of Oli’s Shabbat service.

I spoke with Judy waiting for dinner and met Margaux of Wash U. At dinner I ended up sitting with some awesome people, which is rare for me; usually I get stuck with very awkward seating arrangements at this sort of thing. The meal had no entrees I could eat, but that’s what I get for not taking food allergies seriously and actually informing anyone! I saw Bear, who was in hyper conference mode but still gave me a hug. Other highlights included Vinny and I yelling to make people sing something specific, and great songs such as Al Kol Eileh.

After dinner we headed back to the Bayit for Rabbi Joel Alter’s keynote, which was . . . somewhat interesting. After that I played Uno with a bunch of people for a long, long time, perhaps three hours, and developed inside jokes such as the fact that yellow is Bryan's lucky color and it has something to do with bananas. Bea came back home to spend the night with me, which was awfully nice of her, especially since I'd missed her earlier phone call.

The next morning, Bea made us cream of wheat and we talked about unturkey and other stuff I can’t recall. I didn’t go to services, but oh well, we slept for about 10 hours! Once at lunch, I noshed with Judy outside 'cause the weather was beautiful.

I attended a workshop about Passover and gay liberation with Rabbi Joel Alter. Honestly, I found the workshop disappointing. While it was very participant-driven, the Rabbi didn’t do much to deepen our insights. Plus, "gay liberation" is pretty dated as a phrase and a concept. By attending this, I missed the Michael Feldman performance which (according to several people I spoke to later) was amazing.

During the break I had a nice walk with Margaux and someone else. After that I attended a decent workshop on LGBT sexual assault/domestic violence. I am now determined to formulate my own workshop about how how to eroticize consent! Then there were yummy snacks, especially the popcorn. At snack time I had a cool conversation with this kid Dave, about writing and art and the way we come up with ideas. I also spoke with Vinny, Aime and some other folks about “Is our expanding understanding of gender destabilizing (categories of?) sexual orientation?” Aime and I say, yes. “I am so confused, how does any of this make sense?”

The Trans Caucus followed snack time and was fantastic at many points, though I always want conversations like this to go longer. Zach worked up this brilliant bingo game, and I stole the entire basket of popcorn. (For the game, really . . .) Highlights of conversation: trans mikvah rituals and male vs. female vs. male-and-trans vs. not-trans-enough etc etc, gay males who’d rather be on the women’s side of the mehitzah, whose truth is relevant in which situation. We did not go into my shomer negiah thing or a surgerical intervention thing someone else brought up. I asked why there are no out mtf+ people at these conferences and Razi gave me an abbreviated explanation that I didn't get. I felt dumb.

That night I could actually eat the dinner. Ryan and I discussed Hillel (the student org) and Zionist agendas, among other things. Havdallah was great, though I suppose nothing can compare with last year’s emotional sharing and exuberant dancing. Michael hugged everyone. (“Whoa, that was kind of intense.”) Later he told me he’d been the one who’d initiated the sharing last year. This year it was more of a, “And we’d like to thank Daniel,” “And I’d like to thank the Wesleyan students who helped me,” and official “thank you”s to the e-board and Nathan. There was nothing more personal from the people there, which we had last year. Havdallah is really the only chance for closure at these NUJLS things, so . . . blah. Bear said good-bye and told me that I should call or e-mail sometime, which is pretty sweet.

After dinner we watched a film, and then I ran off to meet Bea & co. We saw V for Vendetta at a nearby movie theater. I enjoyed it a lot. After that movie I set off on my own again to see if my conference was still dancing in MoCon. They were! (PS: MoCon looks so much like the Moore Hall dhall it is scary.) I found people to dance with, including Michael (who almost rivals Michael/Alex of Miami in sheer hotness and talent of dancing), Hillel (who dances like an idiot, and made me feel right at home ‘cause that’s how my best dancing friends and I dance), Alan (who dances badly like a straight boy . . . and also a lot like me) and Rachel (anyone can pretend to have glow stick skillz, thanks for reminding me! . . . she also reminded me of Heather in this instant, haha).

Razi told me, “You know when you were dancing with Michael? Yeah, that was hot. I thought you should have an outsider’s perspective.” Michael said, “I love dancing with you!” (Help, I feel my head swelling.) Almost everyone seemed to have fun at this dance! Even Alan said it was the first organized, night-time NUJLS event he'd actually enjoyed.

Sunday I missed all the workshops 'cause I had to leave so early . . . but at least I didn’t have to decide which one to go to. That would’ve been tough! Michael and I took the same train back to NYC, so we had some fun conversations en route.

I'm sorry I didn't bring my camera! Oh well. Maybe next year?