It's so strange to realize how much of my identity has been wrapped up in being a "student." Despite my support for unschooling and free schools, I have been institutionalized in conventional schools, both public and private, for the past nineteen years of my life! My bio on this blog used to read: "student, artist, and activist." That phrase has a nice, balanced sound to it, don't you think? Now, not only am I relinquishing the "student" title, I wonder what gives me the right to describe myself as an artist and, even more, as an activist. What chutzpah! What activist activities have I done lately?
Lately I've been busy trying to find a job so that I can pay rent to my property manager and pay gas, electric, and telephone companies for my consumption of energy and services. My other bills include student loans and (hopefully, soon) health insurance payments.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this at all, except that the entire enterprise of being an adult in "the real world" and dealing with all of the problems, both practical and ethical, that that entails is depressing, exhausting, and overwhelming. I haven't had the motivation to look for community organizations or activist projects to be a part of because I'm so weighted down with worries about my financial situation, my (at this point purely hypothetical) career, and my future. My my my, mine mine mine. My head is completely stuck in my own life and I can't seem to think about anything outside of my own bubble. This is also depressing. I'm trying to cut myself some temporary slack, though. Life can't stay quite this overwhelming forever -- can it?!
Right now I'm visiting my parents and, while it's great to see them, I want to get back to my own responsibilities ASAP. It's as if I'm afraid of losing momentum by coming back here and doing self-indulgent things like seeing old friends and eating my mom's wonderful cooking -- not to mention staying online til the wee hours of the morning.
I've changed the template of this blog because I couldn't figure out how to add a sidebar with links to my old template. Eventually, I really need to learn how to code things. And by eventually, I mean ASAP. I got lost very quickly trying to edit this.
