Ren's Top Surgery stuff: the listicle

3 months post-op
Dr. Paul Steinwald
Golden, CO, USA


This is a T-anchor mammoplasty where a pedicle kept the nipple attached. Because I really, really wanted to keep my nipples attached.

I had my first consult with Dr. Steinwald in 2008 when he was in private practice outside of Chicago, IL.

Life got in the way and I was not able to pursue having top surgery at that time.

Then, suddenly, in my last year of grad school, I was like: HOLY $#!% I HAVE TO DO THIS ASAP! Before I have to get a job and pay off loans and ahhhh.

So it felt kind of sudden.

Over the course of 2015-16 I consulted with 3 different surgeons in the Boston area: Dr. Tobias at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Dr. Slama at Boston Medical Center, and Dr. Bartlett in private practice.

None of them were confident about performing the procedure I wanted.

Dr. Tobias was the most rude about it - he sputtered that what I asked for was "impossible," and went on about how he wanted "his guys" to look. When I explained that I was interested in function over form, he looked at me as if I had grown an extra head.

Dr. Slama was a little like, "Sure, well, we can try that!" but was saying I'd probably need several revisions because I had so much more tissue than the men with gynecomastia on whom he normally does this type of surgery.

Dr. Bartlett thoughtfully, tactfully explained that, with my level of ptosis, and my frame (I am only 4'11") I would probably be unsatisfied with the results - that he could do this, but it would probably still look like I had small breasts.

Dr. Steinwald tends to be overconfident. But: I wanted to believe!!! Lol. He looked at my updated pictures, said he was confident, so I booked the surgery, raised the funds, made the arrangements, and went out there to have this surgery.

When he saw me in person, Dr. Steinwald seemed . . . less confident. 

Y'all: my boobs were saggy.

Steinwald was like, "We're keeping you intact, right? That's why you're here."

And I was like: "Um. YEAH."

I mean, really - don't even say anything different!!!

So he did it. Omg.

Mental prep:

+ therapy (which I had been in already, but - did I mention this felt sudden?)

+ the book Prepare For Surgery: Heal Faster by Peggy Huddleston (http://healfaster.com/)

+ hypnotherapy with Samuel Lurie (http://tghypno.com/)

Physical prep:

I really did not do much for this. I was exhausted and out of shape because grad school. But I also have several chronic health conditions and I was already doing my utmost to stay healthy in that regard, so - I figured that was enough!

One thing I did was a consultation with Alan Bittenson, Biomechanic to discuss my posture. I have had bad posture forever and I wanted to start working on improving this before having surgery. Alan was fantastic to work with, super respectful and professional. He did a thorough assessment and gave me some stretches to do, which started helping right away.

Most of my issue was tight chest muscles - clearly relevant to having chest surgery! I did these stretches up until the day of surgery, and then started again after my drains came out. This was really invaluable - I was very hunched over until I could get back to doing these.

Financial prep:

+ work and save as much as possible

+ fundraiser online via YouCaring.com (which takes no fees, though there are credit card processing fees - the other downside is that it doesn't record info from people except for an email address, so I had to email thank you notes and ask folks for their info if they wanted one of the incentives I had listed)

+ asked family for help (I am very lucky that my extended family is supportive of me and had some cash to contribute)

+ got the word out in general: not only did this help a lot with my fundraiser (Friend A asking all of A's friends to contribute = a big difference) but I found out about resources I never would've known about. Like:

+ loan from a local non-profit that provides emergency financial assistance in the form of interest-free loans to people of my religious minority - I only found out about this because a friend of mine used to work for them.

+ real life fundraiser - this was mildly successful. Honestly, it was more mental prep than financial. I just did not make much cash from it. Part of it was that the whole "fundraising for my top surgery!!" thing was already pretty embarrassing. The online fundraiser was bad enough and I just could not put my whole heart into running a fundraiser, IRL, for myself. I did have a lot of sweet friends and colleagues donate raffle items, and another kind friend sold the tickets at the door, and a generous business owner donated space, and other folks made food . . . so it felt very *nice*, and supportive, and that was awesome. But it was not a money-maker.

Logistical prep, other:

+ asked a couple of close friends to support me after surgery - one had been in the loop ongoing, the other had just moved to Colorado and so was pretty local anyway.

+ asked my mom for recovery help as well (I had been keeping her in the loop this whole time - I am very lucky to have a supportive mom - so she was ready)

+ got an AirBNB very close to the surgery center (this seemed like the most bang for the buck)

+ airplane tickets (thanks to credit cards!)

+ time off work (thanks boss and co-workers!)

+ misc logistics that I gathered from reading stuff like these links: 

https://neutrois.me/2012/10/09/top-surgery-tips-and-advice/

 http://ask.metafilter.com/281055/Supporting-someone-recovering-from-top-surgery

How did it go?

+ felt very relaxed and confident going into surgery, thanks to work with Samuel of Transform & Grow Hypnosis

- forgot to put the anti-nausea patch on the morning of because the Uber driver was early

+ anesthesiologist (can't recall her name and feel so bad about this!) was soooo nice even though she clearly thought I was a crunchy nut, coming in there with all of my Peggy Huddleston hypnotic suggestion crap

- I barfed after surgery . . . A LOT

+ the Center for Plastic Surgery in Golden, CO gives out very nice barf bags

- my poor mom

+ she was awesome though

+ much easier recovery than I had expected: able to get in and out of bed on my own later that same day, pain meds for only about 5 days post-surgery, drains out within a week

- mostly just very, very tired

- one drain seemed blocked and I went in to have it adjusted - apparently they could hear me yelling and cursing from the waiting room. Hahaha. (I laugh now but it was NOT fun or funny!)

- my poor mom! (Can you tell I feel guilty for putting her through this?!)

+ mom stayed until I was doing quite well, so by the time my friend came I was ready for the lower level of help (and, um, supervision - no one can tell you "no, stop! I am doing that FOR you!" quite like a parent).

+ everything about my chest is working just great.

Best of Boston

Hey Boston people -- have you voted in this poll?

Things I care about:
Art Supplies: I wrote in Artist & Craftsman Supply. It is never on here, and I do not understand why. If someone cares to enlighten me, please do, but I like them a LOT better than Pearl's across the street. The people are more friendly and more helpful. The ambiance is more inspiring. I always thought Pearl's was the be-all end-all of art supply stores -- until I visited Artist & Craftsman Supply.

Public Art: those musical chimes at the Kendall T station are actually on this poll. Maybe if they are voted Best of Boston by Phoenix readers -- again -- someone will make sure they are maintained in working condition.

Local Cause: Tansgender Rights in MA.

I wrote in All The King's Men for Best Theater Company and Best Dance Performers because there is no spot for Best Drag Troupe or Best Comedic Theater Company and they deserve to win something, dammit.

I also wrote in The Neighborhood for Best Gay Night and Best Lesbian Night because 1. Gunner e-mailed a mess of people asking us to, and 2. I want more mixed-gender queer nights. The Neighborhood wasn't especially great the one time I attended, but it's the principle of the thing.

Thinking about going back to school

Okay, so I want to go back to school. I've been thinking about either a graphic design certificate program or an illustration certificate programs. If I had gone to an art school for undergrad I probably would've done illustration . . . . but I can't decide if I ought to do it now or not. Graphic design seems more employable, no?

Oh well, I probably can't start until September anyway. MassArt's spring registration is closed and I'm not sure about SMFA. (I called and got no response yet; if the info's on their site I don't see it.)

Programs:

Mass Art Graphic Design Certificate Program. Advantages: seems very rigorous, so I will learn a lot; claims to have a good rep and that seems credible; emphasis on portfolio-building; access to career services and internships. Disadvantages: takes about three years to complete.

SMFA's Graphic Design Certificate Program. Adantages: access to internships and advising; takes about two years to complete. Disadvantages: possibly not as rigorous as MassArt.

SMFA's Illustration Certificate Program. Advantages: possibly more fun for me than graphic design; access to internships and advising; takes about two years to complete. Disadvantages: possibly not as rigorous as MassArt.

Art Institute's professional certificates in graphic design and web design seem to require actual industry experience, which I don't have! That's why I wanna go back to school: to GET A JOB in an art-related field! Durrr. Their undergrad stuff is for full-time students.

Art Institute of Boston -- looks like you need to be a full-time student for this, so that doesn't seem to be an option.

I was also curious about architecture programs. The Boston Architectural College offers a Bachelors of Architecture that takes seven years to complete, and a Master's that takes five years. Um, I don't know if I'm that interested! I just feel a little useless wanting to draw things for a living.

At MIT it's 3.5 years for a Master's, and you don't need previous architecture experience, but it does seem very competitive. Hm. I'm having a hard time figuring out the exact class requirements for MIT's program.

UMass Amherst says you need physics and calculus. Uhhh. I don't think I can do that!

If you need high levels of math to do really useful things, I give up.

OMG Faces! upcoming show

Opening: May 7th, 7-9 pm

Where: 1369 Coffee House, Inman Square, Cambridge MA

Thanks to: Out of the Blue Art Gallery

Free food! Affordable art!

I have a lot of painting to do this week.

The week's developments:

1. I'm now working at a huge supermarket in the deli department. The job is okay, but it's part time, so I need another job. I could also use work that utilizes some of my skills, experience, and education. Seriously, I did not graduate from college to work in a deli.

2. I'm planning to volunteer for an LGBT helpline. Volunteers staff their phone lines, fielding calls from people who need someone to talk to, generally about LGBT-related issues. This weekend I went through their training and I learned a lot. I didn't expect to learn so much but, as it turned out, this training actually covered things I've never conducted a training about. Maybe I'll post more about this when I'm not so tired.

3. This past week my best friend and I started dating. This may sound like a bad idea, but he's amazing and I'm completely in love. Unfortunately, just two days after we got together, he left for a previously-scheduled vacation out of the country. I miss him a ton, but hopefully he's having a good time.

4. Some of my abstract, dreamscape-inspired paintings are now up at Brookline Lunch in Central Square (thanks to Out of the Blue Art Gallery). I'm not sure how long they'll be there -- definitely until the end of February, but not much longer.



Pesach is soon, and Purim is sooner! I have no idea what I'm doing for either one. I wish I had more friends in this city.

Hello! I don't know if I am actually fired or not! FAQ

Q: Why the heck would you be fired? I thought you were doing really well and makin' lots o' dough for the Sierra Club?!
A: Yeah, I was doing just that, when we switched from going door-to-door for the Sierra Club to standing in the street for MASSPIRG's brand new public transit campaign! They've never worked on public transit before, so it was a complete test run. I didn't make quota (raising an average of $120/night) in the first week of this campaign. Unfortunately, the Fund for Public Interest Research has a policy (oh, they have so many of those) that if a canvasser doesn't make quota for an overall total of three weeks in one season, this canvasser will be dismissed. Fired. Terminated. Whatever. And there have been two weeks prior to this past week, both within the past three months, in which I have also not made quota.

Q: So, you are fired . . . right?
A: Well, the director of the Newton office where I've been working said the Fund would be really stupid to fire me, seeing as how I was raising 200+ a night, on average, for the Sierra Club. This director said he'd talk to his boss at the Boston office and see if I could go door canvass with the Boston door office instead of getting the boot. So, while I may be fired, I also may not be fired.

Q: Wait, what did your boss's boss say?
A: He hasn't been able to get in touch with her.

Q: Riight. So, when will you know what the fuck is going on?
A: Beats me. I was supposed to know on Saturday, but this morning, my (former?) director still couldn't tell me.

Q: Oh. Well. That sucks.
A: Yeah, but I should find another job anyway. But yeah, it does suck.

second day on the job

Thursday we went out and canvassed in Brookline. I made my quota (i.e., raised enough money) so I made staff. Yesterday, Friday, we went back to do some different streets in Brookline.

This neighborhood where we were canvassing is swank. There are lots of rich white people, lots of Jews. I guess I won't go into detail here, but six teenage boys started following me around, asking me questions, and then they jumped me and stole my backpack. They were all really skinny, black, maybe around fifteen years old. From their questions and insults I determined that they thought I was twelve or thirteen, and they thought I was a little faggot.

I told them all I had was a $20 but they didn't believe me. One of them unstrapped my backpack from me and they all ran down the street, laughing. I stood up and watched them go.

This lady was walking down the street just then, some older white woman out walking her pug. She saw these kids running away. I picked up my clipboard, went over to her and told her what had happened, and asked if I could use her phone to call the police. I figured this had to be a well-policed neighborhood, and if there was a cop car nearby they could get my stuff back.

On the way to this woman's house, which was about a two minute walk, I realized that my passport was in the bag. I got really upset at that point, threw my clipboard on the ground, started cursing and freaking out about how I was going to lose my job because I needed to prove U.S. residency, and felt even more stupid. When we got to her place she called the cops for me: "Yes, there's a young boy here who just had his bag stolen by six older kids. His passport was in it, and . . ."

I thought about telling her, "Actually, I'm a woman in my twenties," but I really didn't want to make the entire situation weirder. She offered me water or limeade. I called Aba and told him I was jumped but okay, they took my cell, please cancel the service. Then a cop pulled up in front of the house and asked us some questions.

"They're not criminals," I told the cop. I already felt bad about calling the cops. "They're just some wanna-be thug kids."

Someone found Jason, and he found me at this woman's house. Apparently Jason has awesome people skills and is, in general, more awesome than I thought.

In total, these kids stole:

2 checks made out to the HRC
A jacket, about two years old
2 glass stones in the pocket (sentimental value)
A flier about Old English Country Dances at Harvard Square
A slingshot day planner and address book
My cell phone, also pretty damn old and beat up
A green umbrella
A pair of socks
My Class of 2006 Skidmore water bottle
My US passport
$20.00 in cash

Plus the backpack itself, which I really liked.

While the detective asked me questions, Jason was filling out my name on all my contribution forms. The woman who helped me came up and said, "Oh, you know, I have this contribution to the HRC that I haven't mailed yet . . . would it help if I gave it to you?"

So thanks to her, I actually made my quota for yesterday, if you count the stolen money. The woman is a saint, seriously. I also suspect that Jason slipped me some of his cons.

Overall, the entire incident was pretty stupid. It reminds me of my friend Charlie (one of the only other two Jews in my elementary school class, incidentally) getting jumped when we were in fourth or fifth grade. They said he'd gotten "mugged," which even then I thought sounded too professional. Right, like real professional criminals would rob a ten-year-old boy on the street. I mean . . . maybe some jackass adults would do that shit, but really, kids don't usually have much cash or valuables on them, so what's the point? Kids don't carry wallets, they don't have credit cards. Who would rob a kid?

Idiots, that's who. Other dumbass kids.